By Rumi Nantes
EU Free Trade Commissioner, Pierre Womandeldaughter, and Ukrainian Vice President, Hrvvhory Nveeyrya, yesterday inked an historic deal on hoomus trading.
Ukrainian hoomus farmers were yesterday celebrating the fact they will now be allowed to export large quantities of the chickpea-based delicacy to Europe.
But the EU lobby group, Keep Ukrainian hoomus out of Europe (KUHE), said it is concerned that increased imports will attract the fearsome Hoomonster.
The Hoomonster, a large, dirty beige-coloured bear, is known for scaring the life out of innocent pedestrians by hiding in dark corners in order to suddenly pounce, bellowing HOOMUS in their ears.
The Hoomonster is said to have developed this intimidating technique of securing his required daily intake of hoomus during a stay in France. When a shopkeeper did not understand the word hoomus, the monster was forced to shout it at the top of his voice until a passing Greek tourist came to his aid.
But Womandeldaughter said today that EU citizens should not be intimidated by the Hoomonster.
“We should not live in fear,” he told journalists at a high-level security conference.
“We in Europe will not give in – if we do that, the Hoomonster and his low-level terrorist tactics have won.”
Tags: farmers, fear, Hoomonster, hoomus, imports, intimidating, large dirty beige-coloured bear, passing Greek tourist, terrorist tactics
